diary 15 (september 13)

september i don't know about i didn't bring my camera around much and that's directly related to my memory. i spent entire afternoons laying in the grass around brooklyn, people always seemed to be staying with me. i went to museums alone and would walk around the quiet neighborhoods in manhattan staring into lobbies. i worked through so many nights that i drove myself to fainting from exhaustion one morning. i usually read quite a bit but i can't bring myself to open up a book right now. a kid pressing their hand up against the subway's closed door window as it's about to leave the station, a bunch of balloons caught on a streetlight, a huge scattered pile of sweetener packets on the sidewalk on sunday at dawn, an old lady quietly rearranging the flowers she bought in the takeaway paper on her doorstep of a busy street. developed a chronic cough where my lungs turned inside out, rain kept ruining all of my plans. every fourth person walking down bleecker street says hello to me. i kept getting messages from old and new and important and not-close friends that made me want to cry, more than usual. i wish that i could specify them so that i can read this back in a long time and remember them how sad and sweet they were but that's not how public blog posts work. a lot of people threw out mirrors this month.

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